Reflections in the Mirror

What if you could spend most of your life with yourself and still not really know yourself?

It sounds impossible.

And yet, I think it happens more often than we realize.

For years, we can become very good at knowing what we do.

We know our routines. Our responsibilities. The people who depend on us. The things we’re good at. The things we don’t have time for.

We know the version of ourselves that gets everything done.

But do we know the woman underneath all of that?

The one who gets excited about something for no particular reason?

The one who suddenly wants to learn something completely new?

The one who wonders, What else could I do? What else might I enjoy?

Sometimes she gets buried beneath years of simply being busy.

And then, almost without warning, she begins to show up.

Maybe it starts with something small.

You become curious about something you’ve never cared about before.

You start learning.

You discover that you actually love figuring things out.

You find yourself staying up a little later because you want to understand one more thing.

You try something you never imagined you’d try.

And then one day, you catch yourself thinking:

“Since when did I become this person?”

That’s the interesting part.

You didn’t necessarily change overnight.

You may have simply given yourself the opportunity to discover something that was already there.

A curiosity that never had much room.

A creative side that was always pushed aside.

A willingness to learn that got buried under responsibility.

An openness you didn’t realize you had.

And suddenly, your own life becomes a little more interesting because you are becoming more interesting to yourself.

I think we sometimes assume that by a certain age, we’re supposed to have ourselves completely figured out.

We should know what we like.

We should know who we are.

We should know what we’re good at.

We should have our identity neatly wrapped up and tied with a bow.

But maybe that’s not how life works.

Maybe we’re never supposed to be finished.

Maybe every stage of life gives us an opportunity to meet another part of ourselves.

The woman who raised children may discover the woman who loves to create.

The woman who spent years working may discover the woman who loves to learn.

The woman who always took care of everyone else may discover what makes her excited.

The woman who thought she knew exactly what she wanted may surprise herself.

And none of that means the person you were before wasn’t real.

She was.

She simply didn’t know everything about herself yet.

Neither do you.

Neither do I.

There are still things about ourselves we haven’t discovered.

And I find something incredibly hopeful about that.

Because it means there is no expiration date on curiosity.

No age at which you’re supposed to stop trying something new.

No point at which you have to say, “Well, this is just who I am.”

You can discover that you like something you never expected to like.

You can change your mind.

You can become interested in something completely different.

You can surprise yourself.

And perhaps that is what the reflection in the mirror is really showing us.

Not everything we have been.

Not everything we should have been.

But someone who is still becoming.

Someone who still has questions.

Someone who still has things to learn.

Someone who may be carrying entire pieces of herself that she hasn’t met yet.

So the next time you look in the mirror, don’t only ask yourself whether you like what you see.

Ask something else.

“Who else is in there?”

Because you may be surprised by the answer.

You may discover that getting older isn’t only about looking back at the person you used to be.

Sometimes it’s about finally becoming curious enough to meet the person you’ve never taken the time to know.

If you’re also learning to see yourself in a new way, you may enjoy The Moment I Saw Myself.

I’m not becoming someone else.

I’m finally getting to know myself.